I am deeply troubled by the challenges that face today’s families. It seems that marriages fall apart as commonly in the Church as outside of it, and the best anyone has to offer is a boxed program to run on Sunday or Wednesday night. The problem is, the Church has lost its Biblical understanding of the family—and human relationship in general.

Biblical fatherhood is nonexistent. Feminist seem to own womanhood. The role of motherhood is rejected. Babies are maligned as inconvenient and barriers to success. America has aborted an unknown number of babies. Marriages are crumbling and being redefined. Men are absent from congregational life which leads to a total misunderstanding (or ignorance) of Biblical manhood or fatherhood. The trends are running in the wrong direction, and we are suffering as a human race because of it. If we are to rekindle a Biblical understanding of the family, there are a few crucial Biblical points we have to consider.

First, we are people created in the image of God and have incredible value and worth. Sin defaces and destroys that blessed image, and we suffer in considerable ways when we choose to live in wickedness. We turn into animals as if to be guests on the Jerry Springer show. My family must have a moral center where we live into our created potential as God’s children. We are created in His image; therefore, racism, sexism, hatred, and disunity are enemies of God’s holiness.

We are created to be in a relationship with each other—male and female…not male or female. Men and women are both equally qualified by God to serve Him. We find our greatest joy when we are happily serving the Lord with our gifts and talents. Likewise, our families are most heavenly when we cooperate one with another. When disunity creeps in, we feel the pain of sin, and it smells like sulfur and brimstone.

The Church of Jesus Christ is the presence of Christ in the world—males and females. Christ binds us together as a family to live and serve together in unity and peace. When others see our love for each other and the way we demonstrate compassion to others, people experience the mystery of the Church as the people of God. Our families should reflect the same love for one another that Christ has shared for His Church and followers. When we gather around the kitchen table for a meal, celebrate a significant event, or welcome a new child into our family, we have reason to worship God through our love for one another.

Finally, a ministry within the family takes place most naturally where people feel welcomed and loved. How real are you on Sunday in worship? Honestly, we are not very “real.” However, when you are at home, how real are you then? Sometimes the Church has become a place to show off or network with others and has become far less than a gathered family of God. The Church of Christ must foster deeper relationships and Christians must seek to act like holy children of a holy God.

Marriages, parenting, and families have fallen into disrepair, and no curriculum or video can fix it. Only when families come with a honest, humble, and repentant spirit, can families “get fixed.” Leaders of congregations would do well to invest time and money in the work of marriage and family enrichment events or retreats. Sunday School teachers need to model good marriages and teaching aspects of Biblical relationships. Youth leaders need to talk openly about relationships; if you don’t, the Kardashians will. Pastors, make it a priority of prayer and ministry to help your members find the way to healthier relationships.

If we want a stronger, more Christian nation, it starts with stronger Churches. If we want stronger, more thriving congregations, it begins with stronger and thriving families. If we want stronger, and more flourishing families, it starts with Biblical parenting, forgiveness, and a heart that is hungry and thirsty for righteousness.